I realized today that I truly would love to get a second Siberian husky down the line. I don’t know if I necessarily want a second one as my official “second dog”, but it would be nice to get another one I think. My mother has told me I’m absolutely insane for thinking along these lines, but, she doesn’t have the connection with Ellie that I do. She trusts me, and I trust her. She respects me and I respect her. Once she gets past the 3 year mark I’m hoping things calm down with her, which is probably about the time I’d want a second dog. Not sure what kind I’d get. Hmm…
Kaiser’s last video.
Video description:
“Kaiser passed away on July 24th, 2011 at the age of 6. He was a strong courageous boy to the end. I want everyone to remember him as the happy, stubborn boy that he was. The last few days of his life the cancer started to take over his body, Kaiser stopped eating, his hind legs were giving out and his body began to shut down. When we walked to the hospital, Kaiser walked with energy I didn’t know he had in him. As we said our last goodbyes, Kaiser laid down on the floor and waited for the doctor to come in. When the doctor administered the shots, Kaiser looked at each one of us and laid his head on his arms like he was going to sleep. I miss him so much.”
Fuck. :(
I still remember too clearly when we had to put Candy down. As we were watching the vet prep her, she kept look between the five of us, looking everyone in the eye, holding our gaze, as if thanking us. For what? Giving her a home, a life, a family, and putting an end to her pain? I can only hope.
Oh god. This makes me so sad. This is the worst part about my job… having to euthanize loved pets for both good and bad reasons. Sometimes the owner doesn’t want to be with them while we give them the euthanasia solution, so I make it my job to make the animal feel loved still. I will always feel that the owner should stay with them, but I do understand that some people don’t want to see their animal in that way. I can tell you that your animal is always so confused and wondering where you are when you leave and they’re taken away to somewhere unfamiliar to them with people they don’t know. The look on their faces is heartbreaking. I can promise you, though, that I will be the one in the back soothing them and petting them, whispering to them that it’s okay, that it’s all going to be okay. I try my hardest to make them feel loved, and not afraid or scared, even in their last seconds of life.
After having a complete mental breakdown, twice, I feel better. There is far too much going on in my life right now & I never even realize how much stress I’m feeling until it’s just too much to handle. Probably not healthy, but whatever. Ellie proved to me once again why I can’t give her back. She just sat & let me pet her & hug her while I cried. She gave me her paw & tried to lick the tears off my face. Then she tried sharing her squeaky quail toy with me (her absolute favorite toy); she went to get it, brought it back, and placed it in my lap. I tried to give it back to her but she wanted me to have it. I kissed her head, pet her, told her thank you, & offered it back to her. Now she’s passed out next to my chair.
Gah, I love her so much. If I have to get every one of her teeth extracted for whatever the reason, I’ll do it. She’s worth the cost both in medical bills and housing options. I would be lost without her.
I swear, this dog is going to drive me into the ground. She’s 1.5 years old and has had so many different problems. I just noticed today that her LEFT carnassial tooth was cracked. Thankfully, not as bad as the right one, so nothing really needs to be done about it, at least as of right now. But seriously, this is all getting really ridiculous.
Problems with Ellie so far at 1.5 years old:
- Food allergies involving diarrhea.
- The chewing of anything and everything fabric when no one is around.
- Extremely hard time trying to housebreak her until about 1 year old.
- Cracked & removed upper right carnassial tooth.
- Ruptured right cruciate & shredded meniscus which was repaired & still recovering from.
- Cracked upper left carnassial tooth.
I can promise you that she is probably the best-treated dog in my neighborhood. She is cared for SOOO well, and then all of this shit happens. I swear, if I wasn’t a vet tech & if I didn’t get discounts, I’d be so poor right now. She’s been given Nylabones, not the super hard ones, just the regular ones, and not once in my life and my mother’s life have we ever had a dog who cracked a tooth from a Nylabone (we’ve had about 10 different dogs, some guiding eyes dogs, some our own), but that’s the only thing we can think of that caused the cracked teeth. I wonder if she could have a tooth density problem…?
I feel so insanely guilty about thinking this, but sometimes I wonder if I should give her back to the breeder I got her from. Not only because of the hassle, but also because of the fact that finding an apartment is absolutely ridiculous with a husky because unfortunately they’re often on “breed restriction lists” for stupid reasons. The breeder accepts her dogs back at any point for whatever reason; she doesn’t want them to end up in a shelter, which is nice, but it’s just something I don’t know if I could do. I’ve put so much money into her already and I don’t know if I can just give her up. I mean I know where she’ll be and that she’d be happy there with all her husky buds, but I don’t know if that’s really a decision I could make.
I’ll just have to stick her in a chew-proof padded room for the rest of her life and she’ll be good to go.
In all sincerity, I truly don’t know what to do. I need advice. I need opinions. I need help in deciding what to do. My gut is telling me two different things at the same time: give her back and live with the guilt of giving up or keep her and put up with probably thousands and thousands more in vet bills and a horrible time trying to find places to live. Don’t get me wrong. I love her beyond words. I’m always happy to see her and I always miss her when I’m away, but sometimes I feel like I don’t think practically and this is one time where I think I may need to start thinking practically.
